Relationship between the sexes have surely undergone tremendous changes. Back then, it was women that were usually dumped unceremoniously from established relationships. It was women that were abandoned at the altars. It was women that were left brokenhearted after relationship breakdowns.
Things are quite different now judging by salacious tales creeping out of the news outlets. Here we have an estranged male partner claiming ignorance of his partner’s new marriage plans. What really constitutes marriage failure? How soon should people move on after failure? Do women move on faster than men? Do men hurt more from relationship malaise than women? Are women becoming jaded in relationships that they have overtaken men in inflicting emotional pain?
This week witnessed a media personality openly weeping about his failed marriage. According to him, he had made tangible efforts to revive and resuscitate the union. It was all to no avail as his partner recently openly celebrated her new marriage.
Expectedly, the online brotherhood and sisterhood lined up behind both partners.
Some berated him for being a ‘simp’, others scolded him for wasting his time on a long distance relationship with multiple red flags.
The sisterhood gang celebrated this man’s mental dislocation, since so many women have walked this route of abandonment in the past. Theirs is to jubilate about one man down, crying and mournful instead of a woman
doing so.
But, does it all boil down now
to battle of the sexes?
Are relationships no longer the avenue for nurturing, sacrificing and building for societal good? Are relationships not vehicles for raising well rounded members of the society? Since when has it turned to a games of thrones or psychological thriller?
When men cry about failed relationships, it shows that they are human too. It shows that a heart is beating behind the bushy beards and taut biceps. Heartbreak has no permanent position, it can happen to anyone. But, people have different ways of coping or reacting.
A certain wealthy guy was blindsided with a divorce by his new wife in the United States. He was also sent to jail during the divorce hearing over prior infractions. He was eventually deported and lost his home in the process. He’s now living alone in Africa away from his business and first family. He’s quiet and travelling codedly starting life all over again.
Some men openly cry, some mourn quietly others create havoc. It’s better to cry and heal before embarking on new relationships. What do you think?
How did you handle your relationship breakdowns?
As always, I don’t have all the answers. That’s why I’m inviting you to send your feedback or comments about this and other topics to mooborscounsellingroom@gmail.com.
By Mubo Okosun
Women’s Editor.
