This right here is the new poser for you ladies this week. Can marriage really thrive between an educated woman, and an illiterate man in Nigeria? Can a university graduate find love, and happiness amongst artisans, and unlettered men?
I have found that this arrangement is not alien in the Western nations. The emphasis is usually based on the relationship with the man and not his status or finances. Also, the family tree, and lineage are not that important to the couple. We even learnt that marriages are sometimes contracted without the family input or financial considerations.
We have read stories about the members of the British Royal Family who have have gotten hitched to their equerries. These are somewhat like personal assistants charged with day to day administrative tasks in royal households. And we have read that such couples lived happily ever after.
So let’s come back home and draw the dragnet wider. Can male plumbers get on with lady Doctors? Can a waiter hobnob with a company top shot?
I’ve watched enough Hollywood movies where these dynamics played out well that I wonder why it’s not happening here in real life.
In one of such movies, there was this landscape gardener who found love with a hotshot company executive. Another was a film producer that got smitten with a budding chef.
Look at the ‘Pretty Woman,’ Julia Roberts! She married a photographer, and they have been married for 22 years!
Ladies, shouldn’t a man’s character and disposition count for something as well as his professional acumen? Do you think just because he’s a university graduate he’s automatically marriage and husband material? Do you also automatically sideline available suitors just because they are below your academic, or social grade?
Well let’s get down to it, haven’t you noticed the heavy headcount of ladies of marriageable age in the Southern part of the country?
Maybe, just maybe, this could be a lifesaver for some intrepid ladies.
We have noted that this practice is already at play in some parts of the country. Some of our highly educated sisters from the East are spearheading this move.
I recently sat close to such a couple at a wedding in Port Harcourt, Rivers State. The man operates a Spare Parts shop, is unlettered but quietly dignified. His wife holds a Master’s degree in Information Services. They have 4 kids between them.
She told me in confidence when we both retired to the rest room for a brief chat, ‘marriage involves kindness and patience, and not necessarily a university certificate.’ Her husband, she says is reliable, a good provider, and supporter of her dreams.
She advised the teeming number of single ladies to consider marrying below their academic grade like her. According to her, some of those uneducated men are like hidden gems in the rough that you have to polish into diamonds. This, she says, is far more beneficial than an educated man that’s unkind and selfish.
What’s your take on this matter?
As always let’s have your views on this and other issues. Will you, as a university graduate, be open to getting hitched to honest, hardworking unlettered, but employed working class men?
A little bird hinted to me that some professional women have already missed out on potential suitors as a result of this. Will you now have a change of mind by embracing this change?
Please send your comments and feedback to mooborscounsellingroom@gmail.com
By Mubo Okosun
Women’s Editor
I am actually indifferent but l will consider an educated man before unlettered one. However, who these men are in terms of dignity, kindness, supportive, missions and goals oriented will determine a whole lot between the men… That’s to say, if the illiterate process all this qualities, he stand the chance but under serious scrutiny.
Why l may choose an educated man ahead of the unlettered one is simply to reason together in areas of mutual interest, focus, mission, perspectives and above must process the attributes of a gentle man.
A little reservation brings about the twist which, in some cases, the educated and uneducated are somewhat not culture and again, mental stability, background and up bringing are factors to consider between the categories of men mentioned before one can talk of a successful marriage.
By and large…. If unlettered possess the long lasting quantities for marriage and hopefully ready to unlearn and relearn he stands a chance than the educated selfish.
It’s practically impossible in Nigeria society, the educated ones are looking for the richer and royalty family, so its will be difficult here