Celebrated actor, Jim Iyke in his usual candor and bravado fired the first salvo in a recent podcast. His assertion has expectedly elicited fiery opposition from single moms across the land.
According to Jim, single mothers cannot effectively raise sons as strong men because women are largely nurturers. He posited that only with the inclusion of male figures in their lives can single moms produce real men. Such male figures could be uncles, brothers, grandpas or religious leaders.
Conversely, I’m asking if single fathers can successfully raise their daughters as smooth ladies since men are mainly macho builders.
I have compiled stories from both sides of the divide to drive this interesting conversation. Here goes:
A married woman whose husband is missing in action on parenting totally relies on her senior brother in male role modelling. Her 10 year old son has fallen behind in school work and home duties because of excessive love for games, cartoons and television. She proceeded to seize his playstation, other consoles and locked him out of the games room.
The lad grew so angry that he cursed the house girl and driver before the mom came back from work. He also vandalised the kitchen and refused to eat, bath or remove his school uniform. His mother had to summon her senior brother to sort him out harshly.
The single father of a certain famous actress has been raised by him to disregard her mother’s existence. Stories abound that the mother walked out of the marriage when the actress was little. In all her interviews, she only eulogises her father and boldly says her mother has no hand in her success.
Another beautiful and famous actress is also raising her son by herself after a bitter divorce. She openly performs both roles of father and mother on social media. She is also fond of celebrating fathers day dressed like a man.
She endlessly coddles and cuddles the boy.
In the Western nations, an equally A list actress after divorcing her husband turned the six children against him. Three of the children have since changed their surnames to their mum’s on attaining 18 years. The father is outrightly estranged from his children because of failed relationship with their mother.
What’s your take on this unpalatable family situation? Should a marriage breakup lead to disintegration of family structure? Should husband and wife matter prevent the children from access to both parents love or care?
Daughters need the feminine input of their mothers during puberty, menstruations, and other body issues in becoming ladies. Sons also need the machismo of their fathers in becoming real men.
This attitude of single fathers and mothers in shutting down their exes in the upbringing of their children robs them of equilibrium and balance in their lives. They should stop being selfish by thinking of themselves alone.
They should think of the emotional damage to the children in future. At the least, they should include male and female figures around them to act as stop gaps in the lives of their children.
And to those who claimed President Barack Hussein Obama, the 44th President of United States of America, was solely raised by a single mother, don’t they know that he was indeed raised by his grandparents.
Which exactly is the point of
Jim Iyke. Don’t go it alone.
Please join this conversation by sending your comments and feedback to mooborscounsellingroom@gmail.com.
By Mubo Okosun
Women’s Editor.
