More Nigerian Women Left Behind
If you have a keen eye, you would have noticed a worrisome trend lately at the various civil wedding registries.
Have you not observed a slew of young Nigerian studs getting hitched to foreign women old enough to be their mamas?
And to cap it all, mothers of these men are always in attendance to witness such strange ceremonies. Mind you, we’re not talking about 5-6 years age gap.
We are talking about a 30-year old Chike getting married to a 67-year old Karen, or a 28-year old Kunle tying the knot with 66-year old Janet.
Let’s break this down.
Traveling abroad is not new. It started in the late 50s and 60s with our parents, when they travelled to the United Kingdom.
It was the craze back then.
Quite a number of them returned home after their studies with foreign women as wives. These were nubile women from the Caribbean and the United Kingdom.
The likes of Sade Adu, the enigmatic singer, was a product of such a union. Professor Babs Fafunwa of blessed memory, an erstwhile Education Minister also had a foreign spouse.
These women settled in the country with their young families and pursued different careers like nursing and education.
In the 80s, another episode of checking out for greener pastures began during the regime of military strongman, President Ibrahim Babangida.
Such professionals relocated abroad with their young families for greater accomplishments.
However, the exodus of single young Nigerian professionals to United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, United States and some parts of Europe in the last 10 years has been unprecedented.
Various sectors of the economy like banks, IT, hospitals, manufacturing and logistics have lost critical personnel at alarming rates.
We learnt that at a recent graduation ceremony of medical doctors, 98 out 100 were already signed on to JAPA.
Our concern about this growing trend is that young women are now being deprived of home grown marriage partners.
From our investigations, there has been a 20% increase in marriages of young Nigerian men to older foreign women. These ones could have been suitors for the Nigerian marriage market.
It was definitely a taboo in the past for a young man to marry someone 20 or 30 years older.
Married couples in the African sense are expected to produce children to carry on the name of the family but clearly these spouses are past childbearing age. Most of them are menopausal and past it.
There was a case of a young Nigerian man that got hitched in an American reality show.
The bride was obviously 30 years his senior and a grandma to boot.
He relocated to the United States 7 years after the wedding nuptials in Nigeria.
Stories have it that our young buck has absconded to another State on account of emotional abuse. Married, but single!
So, we are moved to ask what the attraction really is for a young African man to get married to older foreign women?
Why are the older foreign women fascinated by our young African studs?
Could it be their sexual vibrancy, youthful swagger and cockiness?
Or could it be an attempt to play catch-up with vitality and fun for a short time?
Apart from marriage, JAPA has also robbed some parents of the joy and allure of carrying the grandchildren of their precious sons. These are some of the fallouts of this societal trend.
Which is why I ask if you will agree for your 32-year old son to marry a 69-year old mama? Will you also attend such a wedding ceremony?
Have your say ladies…..
By Mubo Okosun
Women’s Editor
