Recently News outlets were abuzz with videos of a highly placed individual being violently shoved by his wife. People were outraged, but they called it playful stunts. He sucked it up and still carried his official engagements.
This posture certainly doesn’t fit the narrative of gender based violence in homes which has largely focused on women.
So, we’re asking: What happens in relationships if the slap, shove or kick is positioned against the man? Who abuses the most in intimate relationships?
Are men also victims of physical abuse in marriage? Do they also carry emotional scars unknown to people?
Is this a growing trend in relationships?
Women’s Hub discovered that situations abound of men who have experienced dangerous moments in their homes. And nobody talks about it. It’s glossed over like tales by moonlight.
Here are some of such stories:
A young man got married to a supposedly quiet lady and was glad that he had made the right choice. This was so until he received a backhand slap from her during a random argument in their living room. She proceeded to smash expensive crockery and later calmed down as if nothing happened.
The young man has perfected walking on egg shells and monitoring the wife’s mood.
Another episode we were told involved a relationship that was headed towards marriage. Until the day the lady displayed Mike Tyson tendencies in the kitchen over cheating allegations. She shoved him and clawed at his face.
Another lady smashed her husband’s phone and wristwatch in fits of anger during a family trip. She then proceeded to slap him and rained unprintable insults.
Most of these women are drawn from middle class backgrounds.
They are also university graduates.
Suffice to say these men are now victims of spousal abuse. They are rarely mentioned when talks of domestic violence is discussed by experts.
As they are usually so shell-shocked to share their experiences publicly.
There’s the fear of being tagged lily-livered or weak-willed.
Most NGOs are devoted to mitigating domestic violence against women.
If the domestic spat between that couple had been perpetrated against the woman all the knives would have been drawn against the man.
Men bleed and cry too in relationships.
They deserve equal treatment and empathy for their emotional wounds.
So, the question still remains: Who’s the greater abuser in relationships?
Is it the Man or Woman?
Please join this conversation and send your comments and feedback on this and other topics to mooborscounsellingroom@gmail.com
By Mubo Okosun
Women’s Editor
