There’s a moment every Nigerian in the diaspora faces—when you realize that, no matter how much you love your roots, home doesn’t feel the same anymore. It hits differently for everyone.
Maybe it’s the first time you land in Lagos or Abuja after years abroad and everything feels… foreign—the heat, the hustle, the way people move, the casualness of it all. Or maybe it’s when you’re abroad, surrounded by people who don’t quite understand the way you laugh, the way you eat, the way you emphasize words with your hands.
At some point, you start to wonder: Where exactly do I belong?
This is the identity tug-of-war—a silent struggle for many Nigerians in the diaspora. You’re still Nigerian, but not quite the same as those at home. You’ve adapted to life abroad, but you’re still not fully accepted as “one of them.” So where does that leave you?
Let’s talk about the reality of straddling two worlds—the feeling of home not being home anymore, the quiet identity crisis that many diasporans don’t openly talk about, and how to reclaim a sense of belonging in a world where we’re always “between.”
1. The Nigerian Identity Abroad: Always the Foreigner
For all the years spent integrating into a new country, learning the systems, adapting to the culture, there’s always a moment when you’re reminded that you’re an outsider. It might be subtle, like when someone says, “Your English is so good” (as if English isn’t the official language of Nigeria). Or it could be more direct—like being overlooked for a job promotion despite having all the qualifications.
Even in social settings, the difference lingers. Diaspora Nigerians code-switch daily—toning down accents, modifying expressions, explaining food, over-explaining cultural norms. You learn to navigate microaggressions, stereotypes, and the general reality that no matter how long you stay, you’ll always be Nigerian first.
But here’s the irony—even back home, you might not feel fully Nigerian anymore.
2. Returning Home: The Culture Shock of “Your Own Country”
Many Nigerians abroad dream of moving back home. After all, home is home, right? The food, the warmth, the familiarity—what’s not to love?
But for many returnees, homecoming isn’t as smooth as expected.
- The first shock? You now have an accent. Even if you don’t think you do, trust me—Nigerians will let you know.
- The second shock? You’re too impatient for the system. You’ve spent years abroad in structured environments where things work a certain way. Now, you’re back home where “just manage it like that” is a national anthem.
- The third shock? You’re seen as a foreigner. The same people who once envied your Japa move now call you “oyinbo” or expect you to have money in excess.
For some, the feeling of displacement is overwhelming. You no longer fit in completely anywhere. Abroad, you’re “the Nigerian.” At home, you’re “the one that has been abroad.” So what now?
3. The Identity Tug-of-War: Who Are You Now?
This is the internal conflict that many Nigerians in the diaspora quietly struggle with.
- Are you still the same Nigerian who left years ago?
- Have you become too Westernized?
- If home no longer feels like home, then where do you belong?
It’s a silent battle, one that plays out in moments—when you crave suya but also love your avocado toast, when you find yourself questioning traditions you once accepted, when you start relating more to fellow diasporans than to people who never left home.
And that’s okay.
The truth is, identity is fluid. You are not just one thing. You are a product of everywhere you have been, every experience you have had, and every culture you have embraced.
4. Reclaiming Your Own Version of Nigerian Identity
Instead of feeling like an outsider everywhere, own your hybrid identity.
- Create your own cultural space. The beauty of being in the diaspora is that you get to define what being Nigerian means for you. Maybe you mix pidgin and English in a way that only fellow diasporans understand. Maybe you bring Naija vibes to Western spaces—whether through music, food, or fashion. Own that.
- Stay connected intentionally. The longer you stay away, the easier it is to feel detached. Join diaspora groups, visit home when you can, celebrate Nigerian traditions. No, you don’t have to eat amala every day to prove you’re Nigerian, but finding ways to stay in touch with your roots helps.
- Accept that home is both here and there. You don’t have to “choose” between being Nigerian and being a product of the diaspora. You are both. The mix is what makes you unique.
5. The Final Truth: You Belong Where You Choose to Belong
At the end of the day, identity isn’t about proving yourself to anyone.
- You don’t have to prove your “Nigerianness” to people at home.
- You don’t have to completely assimilate abroad.
- You don’t have to be one or the other—you can be both.
Being Nigerian is not just about geography—it’s about shared experiences, language, culture, and spirit. It’s about the way you think, the way you laugh, the way you hustle, the way you create home wherever you are.
So whether you feel more at home in Lagos or London, Abuja or Atlanta, you are still Nigerian—even if home doesn’t feel the same anymore.
Join the Conversation
Have you ever felt not quite Nigerian enough or not fully at home abroad? How do you navigate this identity tug-of-war? Share your story in the comments below
