7 Steps to finding a life partner in 6 months.
Are you not bothered or worried about the rising population of smart, successful professional women in their prime in our big cities?
Are you unaware of seemingly beautiful and well behaved ladies single and searching over 35 years?
Everyone I know has a daughter, niece, cousin or grandchild that is intelligent, and savvy but single in her late 30s.
If you are not aware of this social dislocation in the society right now, then you must be living in an igloo or on Mars!
Forget about the seeming nonchalant attitude of the Gen Z generation about men, relationships, and marriage. The usual talk among them is that marriage is not an achievement!
So, why is loneliness and depression on the increase? Among unmarried women 35 years, and above, mental health problems like anxiety, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts and drug abuse are on the rise.
Imagine coming home night after night alone to a furnished apartment with everything in place.
Imagine having personal responsibility for paying salaries of driver, security guard, cook, laundry man, and delivery guy all by yourself.
Imagine eating and waking up alone daily.
Permit me to unpack this new phenomenon.
It was not like this in the days of our mothers.
It was not like this in my own days.
It was not like this before the advent of social media. It wasn’t like this before Facebook, Instagram, X, Snapchat, TikTok, YouTube, WhatsApp, and other social media platforms became the norm.
It was the practice in the time of our mothers for marriage betrothal between families. Usually marriage commenced at 18-20 years. Women found marriage partners amongst their immediate communities.
In my own time, most women lived with their parents or relatives before marriage, left college at 22-23 years, worked in offices, and got hitched by 25-27 years. They made their babies well before 30, and settled down to build a career or business.
Now, things are quite different. Young women finish college later.
They leave home earlier too. So many live alone in swanky apartments, and control huge business, and career portfolios.
Some are professional icons of industry, importers, exporters, big time entertainment moguls, media barons, bank magnates, big time property realtors, and the like.
So, why can’t they have it all?
Why are there so many single, searching women of marriageable age? I’m surprised that their overwhelming successes in the boardrooms cannot be transferred into their relationship pursuits.
Women’s Hub has gone to town to decipher the disconnect and as always to proffer solutions to this unsavoury social situation.
Here are my findings as to why more women are single over 35 years:
- Lack of understanding of marriage institution. Some modern women seem to equate marriage with an equality contest between man and woman. Some refuse to take advice from older women, parents and counsellors.
- * Lack of respect: Because of material wealth, some women tend to look down on men perceived not to be in their league!
- Non domestication: Some women don’t know how to care for a home, a man and children. And they don’t want to learn.
- Deep aggression and anger: Some women are easily triggered and are emotionally unstable. They insult men at will because of the size of their wallets.
- Excessive pride: Pride goes before a fall is a popular saying. This applies to some women who have missed relationship opportunities through pride.
- Lack of home training: Some women were raised in dysfunctional homes by ill-mannered mothers. These mummies didn’t pass on valuable tips because of their emotional pain in marriage.
- Social media fixation: Societal attitudes have been shaped by the Internet. Gen Z, and the woke community regularly berate men and promote independent life for women.
There will be more findings and solutions next week. Let’s patiently wait for Part 2.
Please send me your comments and feedback on this and other topics. Send your contributions to mooborscounsellingroom@gmail.com
By Mubo Okosun
Women’s Editor
